Member-only story
Are You Obsessed With Your Sleep Schedule?
My experience with self-induced insomnia
Do you suffer from insomnia? It was painful for me for a long time.
I’ve obsessed over the amount I was sleeping or lack of sleep for years. Now, friends laugh at me that I go to bed early.
There is a reason behind that.
If I don’t get to sleep at a certain time, then I lose sleep time. I will wake up by 6 am without an alarm.
I can count the times I’ve slept until 7 am in the past 5 years on one hand.
Most days I am up at 5:30 and all is well if I am in bed and asleep by 9 or 10 pm.
What an old lady, right? Is it ageism if I am making a joke about myself?
When did it all begin?
I can’t remember ever having a hard time falling asleep before my 20s. It all began with the use of drugs and alcohol. Substances disrupted my sleep more times than I can count.
You might think your insomnia never started or was affected by alcohol but if you drink, it has been disrupted.
Because I’ve had many sleep-interrupted nights due to substances, obsessive thoughts about sleep began making an appearance in my mind.
