Holy shit - what an experience. I didn't realize at first just how long this was but was enthralled, couldn't stop reading. During the beginning of your story, I found myself relating to so much. We share many similar experiences. In the beginning of my sobriety, I did a lot of reading about ayahuasca and how helpful it can be. It really is fascinating to read about. While I am too scared to try it because of an awful time trying mushrooms and acid (only did those once because I hated it - I guess I can't get addicted to everything!). I still love hearing about others experiences. This was a great read - you are a terrific writer.