I am visiting my brother because I went to his baby shower this weekend. He's the youngest and endured the most abuse. He is terrified of being a bad father because all he was ever shown was bad behavior. BUT, he will not be. He is nothing like that.

I think it's similar to you, I am so sorry that you went through another traumatic event. My heart breaks. I can tell you are much different (night and day) from your mother. We always try to do better as parents. I screwed up a lot but ultimately my girls love me and I feel that. I hope that you get to feel that, too. It really helps with all of the love I never felt as a child.