I did in home care for a man with Alzheimer's that eventually had to be moved to a very sad "home" because his wife could no longer care for him. I just remember the sadness I felt when I visited him there - like that is how he is going to go, possibly alone. I agree with you, not so afraid of death but definitely don't want to be alone. I doubt you will be without your loved ones as you seem to have a very tight knit family.