I feel like you and I would be good friends if we met up or lived close. I've had these same issues and feel the same way you do. It's been my husband coaching me through the friendships and ultimately has helped me see that we can't change people, we have to accept them for who they are and with all the things that bug us about them - especially if we weigh the pros and cons. Your friends are wonderful people but have their "things" and I am sure mine talk about the things they don't love about me. I was too stubborn to see that but the wisdom and acceptance that comes with age, or can come with age, is something I welcome. You are someone that values people and that shows through your writing. :)