I was going to respond to every highlight as I nodded in agreeance throughout this whole essay but decided one long comment might be best! ha!

The time goes by so freaking fast. My kids were about as old as yours are right now when I started to worry about my life and what I was doing with it. I think it's so easy to dismiss SAHM's and I fell into a trap haveing to do "something else". That was even harder. Working out of the home and still having to do it all. It really didn't bring me much fulfillment so I am glad Covid took that job from me.

I think you will look back and be so happy that you got to be there for your kids in so many capacities. Your friend is right, I think I would feel immense guilt being away from the kids all the time.

You are still young enough to do other things. They don't have to be as cool as your job that you had before... but at least you did that and experienced it! Sounds like you had a cool gig!!

You are a writer and a damn good one. It will take you far in life. I agree with you, self compassion is the answer here! Gotta get on that book now! ;)