It's almost time for the beach now. This was beautifully written, Sally. We have been having darker winters here in California but I have embraced the rain and the colder weather. I don't mind it, like you, and it does bring a greater appreciation for the spring and summer although at the end of summer and hot days, I am ready for the fall and winter again. I suppose that might be normal. As for your ex and the "addiction" to it, when you finally let go and had that moment = amazing. That's how I felt when I left my toxic addiction behind. It feels amazing! Love this essay!