Oh gosh, this made me so emotional, I can imagine how hard it was to write. You have been through so many losses and I am sorry to hear that. You are right though, life can be gone in an instant. I lost a friend when I was younger. We were at the bar, I left to go home early and she stayed there with a guy. He drugged her and she died at his apartment. I pondered all the "what ifs" after that!