Thank you for sharing this and being so honest. I was shuddering at the feelings you were having, because I have been there, too... obviously! That weird compulsion to take shots in the garage although it's not even making us feel good. There is no explaining it. It's also so easy to "forget" the bad times and that fruity drink looked so good on the menu with things annoying you in the background. Been there, too. I've relapsed so many times but you just have to pick yourself back up and try again! Wishing you the best!! <3