Wow, 5 times you had to go through that. The death of someone young is not easy to go through. The situation made a huge impact on the family and also on you. What caused you to start drinking heavily was also what caused you to stop! A blessing in disguise maybe? At least that image that the mother has in her head of you is a blessing that she shared with you!! I love that and it just shows your nature as a human being. <3